In this issue:
Greetings!
Happy February! Not much snow up here in Upstate NY... In fact, as I gaze out the office window, I have a great view of a frozen, brown lawn with the occasional ice or snow patch. As a skier, I find this all less than optimal. As a father of a budding skier - I find this less than optimal... We've been seeking adventure in other places, creating from what's around us, finding surprises in odd places. All of which brings us to this month's feature: "Dragons, Dragons and More Dragons." I shall not belabor the intro. Have at it! Cheers, Ken PS: As always, I'm grateful to you for spreading the DadsNews to friends and fathers the world over... Thanks!
Dragons, Dragons and More Dragons
OK, so I've been on the "boys and education" rant for weeks now. I keep running into folks who are only too willing to pour gasoline on
my happy little fire . The flame is growing rather
hotter on one end and settling in to a low roar on the other... I sat next to the mother of another 7 year-old on a flight to
Washington, DC last month. As sometimes happens when one flies from
a smallish local airport, Heather and I discovered that
we operate in the same communities and know many of the same
people. After an hour or so of good conversation, I discovered that I'm not exactly
alone in my frustration with the world of eduaction. (Indeed,
after last month's "DadsNews," I received several messages - some
offering resources for home or alternative schooling options.)
When I returned from DC, Danielle greeted me with the January
30th issue of Newsweek. Boys and education, it appears, are
suddenly hot topics... After a bit o' deliberation, soul-searching, some wonderful coaching from the class I led in DC, and getting in
touch with my own inner 7 year-old, (he was easy
to access - not a whole lot of surprise
there...) I came up with a plan so
blindingly brilliant that, upon closer inspection, turned out to be
just what Cai had been asking for all along: Play
now, work later. Duh...
Bang the drum for another "Duh!" moment in the
history of effective parenting... In case you happen to
be as slow on the uptake as me,
let me toss out the rare "how to" message I
had been receiving and pushing away. Here 'tis: "Listen
to your kids."
Even if it has to
do with homework?
Yup...
Even when notes are coming home
from the teacher?
Yup...
Even though it's cold outside and getting
dark so early?
Yes...
Even when it is
suggested that we put off the homework to draw pictures
or build dragons..?
Yes, especially when there are dragons
to be built! Cai and his pal (who has
since melted..) "...I'm a control
freak..." We let go of our rather unconscious rules and regulations
around homework requirements a few weeks ago. We turned up the flame
under post-school play time. An objective observer might even say
that we handed the reins of control over to our son. That observer
would score high points for their powers of observation... Tough to admit: "My name is Ken, and I'm a control
freak..." Fortunately, I'm also a fun-pig... Hypothetically speaking, of course, I could say that there
is something to letting go of trying to force an outcome for someone
else. If I were to point in that general direction, I may even be so
bold as to propose that letting go of said outcome could possibly
yield ease and - dare I say - fun for all... I don't have all the scientific evidence on releasing
attachments and flowing in the energetic eddys of 7 year-olds, but I do
know this: For a week or so, we had a twenty-five foot dragon gracing our
front lawn. Cai has been choosing his after-school shots for the
past several weeks now, and homework time has gotten much easier for
everyone. We have a father-son art studio in the basement, and there
is charcoal and pastel dust all over the place. We draw or play or
go outside for an adventure to nowhere for a while, then we do
homework. There are drawings of dragons on my desk, drawings of
dragons on Cai's play-tables, drawings of dragons in Cai's art folder that
he brings home from school... Even though there are dragons showing up all over the place,
the dragons that used to battle over homework and rules appear to have
flown off. We all seem to be breathing easier and smiling more.
Only problem now is the lack of snow. We want to build another dragon... He, too,
appears to be smiling... Quote of the Month
"In dwelling, live close
to the ground. In thinking, keep to the simple. In conflict, be fair and
generous. In governing, don't try to control. In work, do what you enjoy.
In family life, be completely present."
Happenings...
Here's what past "Mobius" participants have to say: Join us for a 3-day
experiential journey… o Gain a deeper awareness of masculine and feminine energies within yourself and others. More from past participants: We’ll begin with an examination of how social constructs - conscious and unconscious - silently influence how we view ourselves, each other, and the world… As our journey continues, you will: o Discover the composition of your own unique Masculine/Feminine “shells” or “masks.”o Learn how to express, work and play with Third Way energies. o Take home a conceptual framework, language, exercises and tools to apply this work in tangible ways—in your view of yourself, in your relationships, and at work. o Be a vital part of groundbreaking work and a growing community… be a leader in the much-needed evolution of these energies in our world. Discover how to work with these powerful energies to invite more joy and creativity into your work, your play, and your relationships!
Image of a Mobius Strip Mobius Strip Defined: a continuous closed surface with only one side; formed from a rectangular strip by rotating one end 180 degrees and joining it with the other end. Logistics: • Course Dates: March 31 – April 2, 2006• Hours: Friday and Saturday, 10 AM to 6 PM • Sunday, 9 AM to 5 PM • Location: Longfellow's Inn, Saratoga Springs, NY. • For hotel reservations, call: (518) 587-0108, and mention "Third Way Workshop" to receive special room rates • Nearest Airport: Albany, NY • Course Tuition:"Early-bird" $500 if registered by February 24. $600 after February 24. • Course will be led by the "MF3" Team: Sam House, Mary Kuentz, Ken Mossman, Debra Wilton-Kinney Register below! For mail or FAX regisration, click here, then print, fill out and return form... For other information: "A Better Way to Work" "Making your passion your profession means finding what you really want to do, figuring out the way to make that profitable, and devising a plan to put things in motion." Personally, I couldn't say it any better! A program of teaching, coaching and connecting with what really matters - from the inside out. If you're ready to give your working life a fresh, juicy start, then it just may be time to take a look at A Better Way to Work ... Send me a note or gimme a ring at 518.580.0550. Coaching News It's a New Year. Time to begin moving those ideas and visions toward action..? Hmmmm... I'm setting up sample coaching calls for March... Ready for a 45-minute test drive? Let's set it up! On the house, of course!
Feedback for DadsNews - or a simple "howdy!" - is always welcome. Send me a note! More cool stuff is available at the Cirrus Leadership website! Next issue of DadsNews: Thursday, March 9, 2006. Think Snow! DadsNews ©2006, Kenneth Mossman, MFA,
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